Sunday, December 11, 2011

Winter Blues, Try Winter Hues

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening, in the lane, my lacquer's glistening...a beautiful sight, I am happy tonight, walking with winter nail palates. 

I welcome the skating at Nathan Phillips Square.
I welcome the mitts, hats, scarves.
I welcome the deep magnificent hues of winter nails.
(I however, shut the door on black ice and freezing rain)

Whether you are thinking of Lord of the Rings or the modern community in Spain, this dark lavish green screams power and attention. It may appear black from a far, but when this lacquer hits the lights, it glows a deep green.
(candlestick/the billiard room excluded)

'Here Today, Aragon Tomorrow' 

I believe everyone enjoys a little sparkle here and there...the duty of taking it off may deter you from wearing glitter. I have the answer! It lies within a mysterious hue of silver and white. If you are looking for an eye popping manicure for NYE, here you have it!
(I suggest starting with one coat of white to jack up the sparkle, and always dab, do not brush on like normal lacquer)

'Happy Anniversary' 

Can we talk purple? 
Every shade of purple is gorgeous on any skin tone, the fun with winter is you may go darker without making any excuses! Think outside the box and let a rich, stygian lacquer rock thy nails!


 Remember the OPI Canadian Collection?! 
'Glacier Bay Blues' was by far one of my favorite colors, yet sadly has been discontinued.
I am still trying to locate something that signifies the pure bliss of night and I believe I have found it. 
Think electric, think funk.


Want to rock your Christmas Party?
I welcome you back to my love of red lacquer. This next color has a razzle dazzle to it!
(think Billy Flynn of CHICAGO..yes Josh; I am singing the Cell Block Tango)
Pair this with a LBD and you are set to be the talk of the night.

'Ruby Pumps'

Last but not least, for the women who prefer a nude nail. 
There is nothing wrong with being subtle, and I proudly recommend this color to you conservative gals out there. 
(and yes, for once there is a product out there with my correct spelling. I do however wish it would have been a lacquer of more flair)


Let the snow fall, may you do snow angels and revert back to childhood, just do it with fabulous nails!


Sunday, November 6, 2011

The Wonderful World Of Body Art

I love art.
I am enthralled with being able to create something out of nothing, to be able to see with such a creative eye, for an outcome unlike any other.

Whether it be Salvador Dali's "The Persistence of Memory" painting, where you can interpret time melting away when you do not grab life by the balls.
Whether it be Clive Barker's "The Thief of Always" novel, where you can see how rich your childhood should remain even when given surreal opportunity.
Whether it be Tim Burton's "Nightmare before Christmas" movie, where it inspired me to do a fun nail design for the Halloween season.
Whether it be the face of Marlene Dietrich tattooed to the forearm of my (kick ass) Mom.

With that being said...I am ready to discuss the wonderful world of body art.

I am tattooed. I am proud to be tattooed. Each day that I wake up, I remember the sentiments surrounding my ink. From the skull on my wrist (leaving an abusive relationship, and transitioning into the woman I am today, with undeniable strength and courage) to the roman numerals of my parents wedding date on my shoulder (when I look in the mirror and think 'my goodness, there is everlasting love out there!'). I just love the look of body art, I love the self representation it provides to the world.

I have not been inked since February 2011. It has been a long time since I sat in a chair, with a gifted artist and created something that screams ME! I am one of those people who want a half sleeve of what some people would deem frivolous.

Here is that List:

-A Tyrannosaur
I have always had an innate love with Dinosaurs. I watched Peter Jackson's 'KING KONG' over and over again for the insatiable scenes with these bad ass mother fuckers
(the rest of the movie could have done without Adrian Brody's pants in my opinion).

-A picture of my cat, Oreo
I am in looooooove with my cat. I have had her since the tender age of ten, and our relationship has reached new levels as she has settled into 'cat retirement'
(she does not eat her food, unless I sing to her 'fly me to my food, and let me eat amongst the stars').

-A Harp
It has always been a dream of mine to learn how to play this undeniably sensual instrument. I love the passion that flows from the harpist to the audience. It is in fact, just incredible.
(did I mention my background is Irish, and that shit just flows through my veins)

-Veronica Lodge
From an early age, I have been a fan of Archie comics. This rich bitch just has it all..good looks, a father who falters at her requests, a man that is forever wrapped around her finger.
When I read these comics, I think nothing more of her fabulous lifestyle. Sorry Betty, your shit just does not make the cut.
(I kinda want to call V-Lodge a friend)

So there is it, call me crazy, call me wonderful. These are the subjects that make me smile in life, make me want to get that half sleeve ASAP. Now, how to tell my bank account to chill the fuck out and save remains to be seen.


my heart!

oh yes!


just a little Halloween Fun I created on my nails


Friday, November 4, 2011

Rainbows In The Sky

In the wake of Kim Kartrashian's decision to file for divorce after 72 days of marriage, I thought I would take to my blog and express my feelings regarding this media stunt.

Let us all face the facts, this was nothing more than a sham, for money, for publicity.
There is not much that Kris Jenner, puppet master, will not do for a crisp bill.
Kim, honey, if you thought you were not ready for this marriage, why would you rush into it?
(uh oh, was bossman Seacrest giving you the 'you must do this for E!' stare?!)
You started your 'celebrity' career by getting pissed on, fucked (sorry folks) on camera, and I wonder who in their right mind would ever say YES to your plastic face, monotone speech, empty mind (and I am sure it is not filled with much other than ABBA's money money money).

It is such a shame when people give up on a marriage. I am not talking about those people who truly need a divorce (ie spousal abuse). I am talking about the people who rush into something ideal, to wear the white dress, to have the rings, to have the special day.
These are not romantics, these are sick people who twist love into their very own poison. 

And now for a quick sidenote on marriage:
My parents have been married thirty years. There is not one day that goes by where their marriage is not hard work. They have their problems, whether they be big or small, they do everything they can to figure out how to solve it, they never push it aside to another day of anger/frustration. I believe being raised with both my parents gave me a strong look at where your will can take you. Where your strength can take you. Where you find that inner courage to make it work, no matter what, because you love each other.

Kim Kardipshitian, will forever be a lonely, sad woman, who my sister once said 'should just marry her money' (but then again, she would not be marrying the george washington, she would be doing everything in her power to seduce woodrow wilson).
I feel sorry for this family, they want us to believe they are this amazing united front, well, like Kris Humphries, I have not been drinking the Kardashian Kool-Aid. I have always seen this family as money hungry botox loving humans.

Now, this is the part that makes me angry (it is almost at the point of turning green, ripping off my shirt--HULK style) there are only six states in the USA that recognize same sex couples to be married (while these tramps get to ruin the sanctity of marriage)
How can the US federal government be so dated when it comes to this issue at hand.....are we not all human beings, looking to fulfill our lives with love, with a family? Who the fuck are they to say just because someone prefers cock to vagina or vice versa that they do not have the same rights?
I have many gay friends, one of my closest friends Josh; well he just puts a damn smile on my face daily. I am a lucky girl to have his friendship. He is a lucky guy to be living in Canada, where we recognize that same sex couples are equal to heterosexual couples (thanks Paul Martin, you did your country good on that one). I pray for the world to change its views. I pray we can find common ground, for all men and women. To be able to love with the way God created them.
Love is love, let it be equal. (and do we not all love rainbows?!)

Plastic, Plastic Everywhere!

Brian and Justin from the delicious show that is Queer as Folk


Thursday, October 6, 2011

Here Comes Our Motive

Fall, what a beautiful season you are, welcome!

Let's get say that autumn is the best season, well, it may be pushing it for some people. Autumn for the nail season, is all about pushing the envelope.


When I see a woman with her nails done, I am (in my head) jumping for joy. When I see a woman with her nails in a luscious shade of cranberry, well it makes me believe she was sent from the 1940's. Not only a part of my daily life, (helloooo, put them in salads and kick assssss) cranberry with the combo of Fall are the reasons we don't put on those gloves/mitts just yet.

Suggestion: Essie 'Very Cranberry' 
(yes yes, the brush sucks, try lighter strokes)


Well, I have a lot to say on this subject, but we'll talk grapes at a later post. Fall is all about rocking as many shades of red as you can. For someone like me, who is naturally (haha no, that is a lie) blonde, with pale skin, we hesitate in wearing red clothes. I prefer to jazz it up with red nails (add a red lip to kick it up a notch, and of course, those Marilyn glances..) Wine is the prefect shade, it has a purple base so we blonde babes can rock it.

Suggestion: OPI 'Malaga Wine'
(brush too wide for your nail plate?? grab an angled makeup brush and GO!)



Yes, I spelt that the British way, what can I say; my friend Natalie influences me. You can rock a grey nail during fall, as much as we know Elton John can sing. (85% sure I am, going to be him for Halloween; just to sing all night) From the darker shades that remind you; night swiftly shows up, to the lighter tones, even 'older' gems can wear. 

Suggestion: China Glaze 'Recycle'
(I love this color and I'm a lil too greedy to share this lacquer)


Welcome back, I understand if you had to grab a glass of water, or step away to show a friend, this undeniably great blog. Welcome to the hue of 'assurance'. The warmth of this tone, the way it works with any nail shape or length, it quite frankly makes me happy when I walk the streets of Toronto and see it out. (yes lady, I'm looking at yo' nails while crossing the street) This shade works well with any skin tone. 

Suggestion: China Glaze 'VII'
(olive skin really, absolutely rocks this shade) 


Because we all hate wearing something at one point of the day. If you need a break from painting your nails strong colors, I suggest you switch to a strengthening regime (nailtiques works wonders, but you must be dedicated) or go for the bare necessity. Forget about your worries and use something pale, a match to your skin tone perhaps. 

Suggestion: OPI 'Tickle My France-y'
(works well for bridal parties, or just a LBD night with the girls)

As far as nail art goes, I would stick with simple half moons. With autumn, blazers fall into the mix. If you place that wonderful piece of fashion with half moons---people be thinkin' you the Kate Hepburn of 2011. (okay realistically, only with straight legged pants and yankee parents) 

  Dita, you had me at half moon


Sunday, April 24, 2011

Welcome Back Kotter

To say that I need the internet and a new laptop is now beyond the truth

Dear Blog; how I have missed you.

I have discovered acrylic paints for nail art. It is fantastic because I love mixing colors, and it is so much easier to use a paintbrush. Thank you Dollarama, you have my back.

I have been going through a faze of doing old video game nails. I love the look it brings to people, whether it be a laugh or smirk, I know I am helping bring back some of their childhood memories.

 Pac Man Party!!

1up your life!

I am working on my 3d nail art, ordering fruit slices from China and patiently waiting their arrival, or using that good ol' Dollarama again to find googly-eyes. I just think that it's a fun process, to plan it and see it develop is quite rewarding.

Blackberry Curve 8530 is not a great camera

A family of hooligans!


Thursday, March 10, 2011

Express Your Life Through Fun Nails!

'I'll never reach my destination, If I never try, so I will sail my vessel, till the river runs dry'
The one and only lyrics of Garth 'loverboy' Brooks' The River


My buddy John will do my nail portfolio.
Base Index and Ring: OPI 'Ogre The Top Blue'
Base Middle and Pinky: OPI 'What's With The Cattitude'

He's majorly talented!
Base: CND Shellac 'Hot Pop Pink'

Subway Photoshoot.
Base: China Glaze 'VI' 
Flowers: China Glaze 'For Audrey', 'ReFresh Mint' and 'Lemon Fizz' 

Dora's Nails.
Base: China Glaze 'Frosbite'
Nail Art: Jessica Black Pen (so fitting) and Color Club Silver

Dee's Nails a la Carmen Miranda.
Base: CND Shellac 'Strawberry Smoothie'
Nail Art: Various Color Club Products

Michelle's Nails for NYC.
Base: China Glaze 'For Audrey'
Index Finger: China Glaze 'ReFresh Mint' and 'Liquid Leather'

Spiderwebs a la No Doubt.
Base: China Glaze 'Japanese Koi' and 'Liquid Leather'

Swirl Action at Ali Baba's.
Base: Zoya 'Pippa', China Glaze 'Agent Lavender' and China Glaze 'Shocking Pink'

Flowers were so hard to do in the beginning, they fought me, but I won the battle.
Essie 'Mint Candy Apple' (heyyy Mom) China Glaze 'Liquid Leather'

I love these!
Essie 'Mint Candy Apple', China Glaze 'Recycle' and China Glaze 'Seduce Me' (one of my all time favorites)

I must practice my line work
Base: China Glaze 'For Audrey' and 'ReFresh Mint'

Are you looking at your own nails now and thinking, I can do better? or, damn, I'm nailed!

Oh and I cropped my hair..thanks be to Fay @ Natural Solutions EC


Friday, February 18, 2011

ailing in life? just add a 'N' to the front!

I believe we need to envoke passion in life. I believe we need someone to challenge our creativity. I believe, if you do not provide your artistic brain with a mentor; you become a 'fool of a took' (hell yeah, I just referenced Gandalf)

Kimmie Kyees and Jenna Hipp are the women who give me the motive (not in a CSI way) to become the best nail technician I can be...oh and I will be, I am fucking awesome; it just came naturally to me after years of searching 'who I wanted to become' in terms of career.

Kimmie Kyees
'I just called, to say, I love you'
I am obviously not going into A&E biography details, since Bill Curtis got a restraining order on me.. (HAHA jokes) but this woman is the 'rolls royce' of nailing hollywood.
Did you watch the grammys this year? Okay, I did but only to see what she nailed on Rihanna and Katy Perry. She is a believer in MINX.. (thanks Mom, those ebay purchases from England and Hong Kong; worth the money) She is a believer in originality, she is a believer in making a statement on the nail plate. I just adore her way and look forward to reading her tips in any magazine that has a lacquer/nail section.
A session manicurist who started a passion and became a huge success.
follow Kimmie Kyees on twitter @kimmiekyees

Jenna Hipp
I will start off by saying that she tweeted me...I fell to the floor in my sister's condo because I could not believe that it was FOR REALZ. I think I even shed a tear.. (okay, I shed many, I was blown away)
Did you see the issue of 'Vogue' with Michelle Williams on the cover? Guess what, that was the hipp way of doing a manicure. Oh, did you see the one and only Winona Ryder on the cover of 'ELLE'? Oh correct you are, another a la hipp. She is a green manicurist who believes in quality of green nail control.
follow @jennahipp or visit

dear Mom and Pops, if you value encouraging your kids--which you do--I would hope that you just decide to spend some more extra cash on my dreams..afterall, it's up to you whether or not you want to live in my basement or a retirement home.....

Monday, February 14, 2011

Passion Takes It All

Oh me, Oh my.

I have fallen in lust.
This is the reason behind my break from the blog
(that and I never get internet access @ my place)

Blog readers, I would like to introduce you to my love..

Welcome to a whole new world of excitement and passion. I like to do my produce shopping in Chinatown, and yes, while I'm there to pick up green peppers and such, I am also secretly gopping at people's nails.

They always kick it up a notch in Chinatown. I will practically jump on a woman if I see something 3D hailing from her free edge. I absolutely can't wait to start doing 3D nails on myself and clients. I currently have my enhancements done with large different colored rhinestones, and they are absolutely making a statement. I cannot wait to do some 3D decal shopping in Chinatown, then sitting myself down at home and learning this craft and rocking it Neil Young style.

I simply am astonished over how much they make any outfit stand out. You could be looking like a messy Pamela Anderson but there is something about these nails that take a bad day look and bang it out of the park.

 Rhinestone Heaven

When did bathrooms become the new place to hold photoshoots?!

I looove this so much..many people will find it tacky, but those are the people who still wear socks and sandals together.

So adorable! I need to get some of these ASAP! (aka..get on it Mother)

I really want for women to see the playful side of nails. The fun that your nail technician has when these types of clients sit in their chair is beyond description. Do not hesitate to try something new, you never know what the outcome will be! You could end up falling in love with the 3D nails and become a nail fashionista or you could try it once and decide that it's not for you, atleast you surfaced from the normal, atleast you were daring enough.

You live once, at the end of your life would you rather say
"I wish I would have stepped out of my barriers more" or "I took risks, I dived head first into the unknown and I came out really knowing myself"

I am choosing to just try, try, try. I want life to be full of excitement and yes, it is already, but I do not mind putting myself out there and saying 'I am with you Universe, and I know you are guiding me to great things through my positive energy and being'.

'Life is not tried, it is merely survived, if you're standing outside the fire'

Now, since it's Vagina Day...oops I mean Valentine's Day, here is cute lil mani I did on my sister


Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Do you believe in magic?!

I am a woman of mystery.

I got a tattoo (my 15th) on Monday evening after work. I have always wanted to get my parents wedding date, finally after years of pissing, I decided to get off the pot. 
As the needle touched my skin, '3 libras' by A Perfect Circle came on the radio and 'Vicarious' by TOOL followed. I know what you're thinking, so fucking what?

Well now, let me help you piss your pants...those two songs have played for the last 6 tattoos I have gotten (and this has been since I was 20, getting inked in Ottawa and Toronto in various parlours) as soon as the artist started on my permanent marking of awesome.

Part two of piss in your pants is the fact that my ex-loverman is Maynard James Keenans' (singer for both bands) biggest fan. They are truly wonderful bands and anyone who loves progressive rock, feels the same way. The words that MJK uses through music is endearing, dangerously intune to another spiritual level, and frankly fucking fantastic.

Part three of piss in your pants is the fact that my ex-lovah (all will ferrell in a hot tub style on yo' ass) is a man of wicca. For those that do not know about wicca, I would suggest to read about it. A lot of people miscontrue this as crazy, black magic witchcraft; it is not in any way, shape or form. Wicca is a religion, a distinct spiritual path, that does no harm. People who use wicca to harm or hex will ultimately be doing damage to their own karma.
So back to pissing, he had this book of shadows (a journal with wicca protection so only said person can look into it without spells being put out there to a nosy fucker). It was filled with pictures, sketches, symbols, prayers, thoughts that all concerned his love for me even before we started dating. I never fucking thought twice when he would sit next to me and write in it, and he would usually ask me to look away when he would put it back to its place.

I do not believe in coincidences, everything happens for a reason (thanks Jude... ). I have had 50% of friends laugh at my 'silliness' and the other 50% question and wonder what the hell is up with that? (thanks Sarah, girl you have my back even if it's sweaty from yoga) I decided on Tuesday to go to Indigo and get a book on wicca, to try to understand where this was/is coming from.

It is crazy. I stayed up until 2am reading into our planets, our charts, our numbers, our rock/gemstones, our animals, our rules, our body. What I found (which this ex has known for years) is quite extreme.

The numbers for my planet (the sun) are 1, 6, 7, 8, 21, 111. This struck me seeing as my birthday is August 21 (08.21). His numbers are 4, 5, 6, 7, 72, 175 for his planet Venus and he has no numbers for his planet Pluto (he is a cusp baby).

With your planet you are given a 'magic square' that has scattered numbers from 1-42 in it. Depending on your planet, some squares are small, medium, and large. I noticed right away that if I counted my squares as years, in the 25th spot I will be 25 years old (also counts as 2012 and trust me, my planet talks a lot about the mayans). I turned to his square, and guess mother fucking what...on his 25th spot is the number 25. I also saw that when I was 17, my square held his birthdate number of 23 (I was 17 when I first saw him and fell in love).

Another fun fact, when it comes to my metal, I am gold..the book said that gold corresponds to diamonds, the heart and the letter E...yup, you guessed it--that is what his name starts with. (and yeah, I just about shit my pants when I read that one)

When it comes to rocks/gemstones...we both shared amber which is Venus' planet and Leos' astrological house. Amber is used to balance yin (one of his rules) and yang (one of my rules). He also has amythest as one of his gemstones. Amythest correspondes to Jupiter (a planet based on my fire element) and Pluto (one of his planets). Thursday is amythests' day...fuck I was born on a Thursday!

I could go on with more of the strange similarities...but I'm going to leave it to my belief in the effects of positive energy within the universe.. I just feel that I was meant to get that tattoo on Monday, to hear those songs again in the weirdest, unexplainable of way, and to research what it could all mean.

I wound up at Indigo again today to look at books on dreams and stumbled upon a Leo book for 2011. It had day by day characteristics for this year, and my day for tomorrow Thursday January 27th, 2011 said that I would be moving. HOW FUCKING TRIPPY IS THAT?!

I will leave you with provoking thoughts and a poem/spell that I fell in love with as a little girl (seriously, I stole it from the school library and if some bitch hadn't made me return it, who knows where I would be)

 The Poison Tree by William Blake

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe;
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I water'd it in fears,
Night & morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with my smiles
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright;
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine,

And into my garden stole
When the night had veil'd the pole:
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretch'd beneath the tree

My new addition with a side of alien smile

                                  Shatter by OPI worn with Lemon Fuzz by China Glaze


Sunday, January 23, 2011

I'm the doodle bear, I come with pens for writing on

I want 2011 to be a year of excitement and happiness, hence my decision to move out of my cute little apartment. It has been my staple for two years, but it's time to move on from obnoxious neighbours, and that fucking staircase that elephants run up and down.

I have to pack!
 I am keeping in the same building so you would think that packing is going to go down smoothly (hahaha not so much jess). I have a lot of stuff... I have a lot of needless stuff from when I was a kid that is now surfacing... the totes of stuffed animals that mentally I just can't part with (this does not mean I have a mecca of teddy bears on my bed..I have a rule that if I want to keep stuffed animals, they stay in a tote and not out for everyone to think I have a weird fetish) the old books and drawings from elementary school that make me laugh my ass off when I reread them as an adult. The boxes of clothes that have really funky patterns, I would never fucking choose to wear outdoors nowadays but I begged my Mom to buy for me as a kid.

I am wondering how to part with this stuff and try to live a life with less clutter. A cluttered house means a cluttered mind right?! I have tried to get rid of some stuff and the guilt sets in everytime I get home to see the reject box. I want to be able to donate the things that I can and obviously trash the things that need it, but in a city like Toronto, I know I am going to see some crazy ass bum on Queen West waving around that teddybear that meant so much to me as a kid (probably with missing eyes and shit/crack stains on it).

When I was a weird kid, I use to think grabbing a kleenex and not using it was a sin because it never got to fulfill its duty to wipe that snot or dry those tears. I am not sure where my affection towards inanimate objects came from but they are obviously still with me as an adult.

I am not a hoarder, nor am I a pack rat....I just have things hanging out in cute Ikea storage boxes that most people would consider junk. For example, I collect old trash magazines...I do not know why, but I love to look at them years later and see what went on, who was dating who, the demise of the Golden Couple, the style some stars had, the ones who went to rehab, the ones who passed away, the frivolity of it all.

I am excited to go home tonight and just raid my small apartment and TRY to get rid of as much as I can. Since I am moving into my new apartment blindly, I do not know the space or what the closet is like, I do know it's bigger than what I have now, but lord, if I have to expose those totes, I will certainly not be a happy camper when friends come over and ask "oh what's in that tote?"...the answer will always be "mind your business, you nosy bitch"

I loovved doodle bear!

The notebooks that ruled my life for 6 years

My parents still have my pogs, I carry two in my wallet--one of Moe Szylak and one of a T-Rex because I love them how people love their own children.