Broken Strings Cannot Be Played On

           

Welcome back Kotter - It has been a while

 I feel like I am the girl who will never be trusted (I have had a string of May December romances and they all have lead me to believe this). I wonder to myself often, is it really me? It must be, or am I choosing the wrong type of dude time and time again. I guess only time will tell. I can’t keep getting into these so-called relationships only to want to leave them in a few months’ time.

I am almost 30, and I have never had a real serious relationship. I have watched my friends and sisters get married, have their babies, and lead what is deemed a normal life by society. I work at a bar where I keep late hours and maybe party too much while the rest of the world sleeps (industry life I tell ya). So the old marriage and baby making game is far from my own reality. I like my life, but there has got to be something coming my way that showcases raw and real love (that doesn't include the dreaded "netflix and chill").

I keep finding these dipshits, and they stick around once they’ve found me. Okay, maybe dipshit is a strong word, politically incorrect because they are human beings but it tends to be my fault giving them the energy they need to feel like a man, a wanted man. Maybe I'm the dipshit...oh goodness NO!

I cannot really commit. I don’t mean I am a cheater by any means but I cannot seem to allow myself to want to be with someone longer than my head and heart are in it. I find myself getting bored quickly because I am a smart woman, a funny woman, a beautiful woman with a kind heart but I guess I am weak when it comes to just saying ‘no thanks’ and moving the fuck on. I tend to stay on the train when it's clearly left the station. Sometimes I fall asleep on the train and wonder how the fuck did I get to this destination of wanting more out of myself with the dudes I have been meeting. 

My best friend says I need a professional man, but as a struggling writer...I am no where near having the career I deem worthy in my head. So this "professional man" because of my own career energy is taking his fucking time to find me. Or maybe it's Tom Hardy and I am patiently waiting on the divorce to come through. Either way... Josh is always right. 

I keep wasting my time with these dudes (I can't even call them men at this point) who act like they are still freshmen in college. My goodness --JOSH IS ALWAYS RIGHT. I guess I just do not know how to change the situation, and maybe I need to stop giving these dudes the benefit of the doubt and run when I see any red flags. *I even have an older post about red flags yet I don't follow my own fucking advice* I really can't help a dude if he doesn't want to trust me, that is his issue especially when I give him no reason to be deemed untrustworthy. Insecure dudes come in dozens and I am sick of buying into it. 

            

While this was once a blog dedicated to nails, I have decided to make it a roundabout of my life since we are all struggling with something or someone. The name fucking stays though because technically this world is dominated by man, but this well manicured woman is sticking her middle finger up and saying "I GOT THIS".  

hazah!

Put Your Dukes Up..It's Fightin' Time

Hello 2013!

 (where's John Cusack? We made it baby!)

 January 10th will mark my fourth year living in this lovely city.

I sometimes, cannot believe how quickly the time has gone by.

I sometimes cannot believe that, I did not move earlier.

I feel very inspired with what this year will bring. 

I am fortunate enough to be given the opportunity of what each day brings. 

There is just something magical when that clock strikes midnight and bam! you have to change calendars, for a new year has arrived. 
(let's face it though, my tired ass was in bed by 9pm)

Some believe in resolutions; I believe in making detailed personal goals.

Here is my motto for 2013:

If you dream it, you dare it. 

If you dare it, you do it. 

If you do it, start dreaming again.

With the element of belief, the spontaneity of trying, perpetual focus, and intense drive, there is nothing that cannot be achieved. Nothing is impossible! 
This blog may have been off kilter, but I just thought to inspire any readers.

Personal Goal Numero Uno:

Write the entire rough copy of my novel!
(just as I type this, my friend Josh says 'Christ, finish it already, I need some money to travel')


Personal Goal Numero Dos:

Having a weekly wardrobe ready to rock the streets of Toronto!
(confidence comes from attitude, and how can you feel bad if you look great?)

Personal Goal Numero Tres:

Saving money for college September 2014!
(I have finally decided what I want to pursue! Fashion Styling YO!)

Personal Goal Numero Quatro:

The biggest of the all...staying sober and healthy!
(the hooch almost caused my early demised..fuck you smirnoff and friends)

*please note that the details, are none of your business*

check out that pout!

hazah!

High Five for The Season of Renewal

It has been a long time.

 I welcome you back, Spring!

Brights are booming and Pastels are perfect!

Are you planning your 2012 spring closest?

Well, here are some wonderful lacquers for that finishing touch!

This is a statement color! Whether you are wearing a patterned dress or black slacks with a white blouse it pops. After a long winter, this lacquer is no longer meant for just the toes.

Essie Orange, it's obvious

 

 

 Yellow can be a hard color to pull off wearing, unless you're my friend Jasen (hot damn, that man has style). This is a lovely pastel that anyone would be proud strutting with.

(try it with turquoise polka dots for simple nail art)

China Glaze Lemon Fizz

I love colors with a subtle grey undertone. I especially enjoy when that color is blue. 

This lacquer has the ability to transform any outfit to look soft and feminine. 

(half moon mani this color with white, divine!)

China Glaze Kinetic Candy

Lavender is an essential for spring. After all, the flower tends to bloom most beautifully in this season. I would wear this out with a LBD, throw a cardigan on for work and pile on the necklaces!

As the clothes get brighter, so do the nails. Hot pink, what can I say? It is nice to see you out again! It is flashy, a notice me color. Wear bold bright colors with it, why not!

(this lacquer is also featured in CND's Shellac)

CND Hot Pop Pink

 There are so many wonderful colors to dabble with for spring. 

Have fun with your manicure.

It is all about blossoming, so get out that pusher, nipper, file, buffer, base and top coat and get to work!

 

Hands still roughing it from winter weather? Try using a lanolin and aloe vera based lotion.

hazah!

 

All Is Fair In Love and Warcraft

What do driving on slippery highways and relationships have in common?

Warning Signs!

Did I get a chuckle out of you? At least tell me you grinned.

The start of a relationship is always part thrilling and part worry.

'we are going on another date tonight!!!'

"oh shit, are my spanx clean!?"

I am not speaking of casual dating, frankly that scares the crap out of everyone!

'oh lord jesus, he had bad b.o!!'

'i did not get laid, onto the next bitch'

'

I speak of the label of boyfriend and girlfriend - when it gets to the point you stop replaying Adele's 'Rolling in the Deep'/putting down the president's choice Red Velvet Cake Ice Cream (yes, it exists) and move more into the beat of KISS' 'I was made for loving you'. 
I think a few months is a good time to determine if this is the relationship for you. Of course it is you say, but then the warning signs set in and your decision becomes flawed.

warning sign one

It should be about nights on the town. 

Discovering new little places to share together.

If the guy wants to plant his ass on your couch during the first 2 months...

Kindly ask him to remove his ass from your couch and leave!

(new romances should not be about watching the latest episode of Friends..shit has been off the air for almost eight years)

warning sign two

It should not be about providing...just yet.

If he says he wants to buy you something/pay for things but does not come through after four weeks, he has already forgotten about it. Men often say what they think women want to hear. Guess what, I do not need you to pay my rent....I already GOT THIS.

(new romances should be about the cute repertoire of wondering who is paying for dinner, the dance for the check..)

warning sign three

Women tend to like hearing the voice of their man.

With all the instant messaging going around, he is gonna get lazy and think it is cool to constantly use this resource. If you have only had six phone conversations in the span of two months...

have I told you to RUN OUT THE DOOR YET?!

(new romances, they should include some late night phone calls of getting to know one another (feel sixteen again) and who knows, could lead somewhere dirty... sorry mom, sorry dad)

warning sign four

This is the biggest of them all. 
If he tells you before two months that he is a gamer. I love video games, do not get me wrong (hook me up with CJ from San Andreas and his jet pack). I have a nintendo controller tattooed to me, but there comes a time and a place. When he would rather stick to text messaging and you feel you have to ask to call...

this guy is so not worth your time!

(why the fuck is he wanting to play XBOX instead of playing YOUR BOX?! Does he lack social skills? Is he allergic to the daylight? Video games are NOT a hobby, no matter how much you try to lawyer me on that one. They are an addiction, one that most strong women will not stick by if you choose to value virtual vs reality)

Be honest with yourself and with a new relationship. 

I am not saying that if your man shows some of these signs it is, not going to work out. I am simply saying to keep the level of independence you had before you met him. 



 *not all men are included in this blog, but most of y'all are guilty*

when he becomes mr nonsense..

 I become little miss scary

hazah! 

Winter Blues, Try Winter Hues

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening, in the lane, my lacquer's glistening...a beautiful sight, I am happy tonight, walking with winter nail palates. 

I welcome the skating at Nathan Phillips Square.

I welcome the mitts, hats, scarves.

I welcome the deep magnificent hues of winter nails.

(I however, shut the door on black ice and freezing rain)

Whether you are thinking of Lord of the Rings or the modern community in Spain, this dark lavish green screams power and attention. It may appear black from a far, but when this lacquer hits the lights, it glows a deep green.

(candlestick/the billiard room excluded)

'Here Today, Aragon Tomorrow' 

I believe everyone enjoys a little sparkle here and there...the duty of taking it off may deter you from wearing glitter. I have the answer! It lies within a mysterious hue of silver and white. If you are looking for an eye popping manicure for NYE, here you have it!

(I suggest starting with one coat of white to jack up the sparkle, and always dab, do not brush on like normal lacquer)

'Happy Anniversary' 

Can we talk purple? 

Every shade of purple is gorgeous on any skin tone, the fun with winter is you may go darker without making any excuses! Think outside the box and let a rich, stygian lacquer rock thy nails!

'VIII'

 Remember the OPI Canadian Collection?! 

'Glacier Bay Blues' was by far one of my favorite colors, yet sadly has been discontinued.

I am still trying to locate something that signifies the pure bliss of night and I believe I have found it. 

Think electric, think funk.

'Frostbite'

Want to rock your Christmas Party?

I welcome you back to my love of red lacquer. This next color has a razzle dazzle to it!

(think Billy Flynn of CHICAGO..yes Josh; I am singing the Cell Block Tango)

Pair this with a LBD and you are set to be the talk of the night.

'Ruby Pumps'

Last but not least, for the women who prefer a nude nail. 

There is nothing wrong with being subtle, and I proudly recommend this color to you conservative gals out there. 

(and yes, for once there is a product out there with my correct spelling. I do however wish it would have been a lacquer of more flair)

'jessika'

Let the snow fall, may you do snow angels and revert back to childhood, just do it with fabulous nails!

hazah!

The Wonderful World Of Body Art

I love art.

I am enthralled with being able to create something out of nothing, to be able to see with such a creative eye, for an outcome unlike any other.

Whether it be Salvador Dali's "The Persistence of Memory" painting, where you can interpret time melting away when you do not grab life by the balls.

Whether it be Clive Barker's "The Thief of Always" novel, where you can see how rich your childhood should remain even when given surreal opportunity.

Whether it be Tim Burton's "Nightmare before Christmas" movie, where it inspired me to do a fun nail design for the Halloween season.

Whether it be the face of Marlene Dietrich tattooed to the forearm of my (kick ass) Mom.

With that being said...I am ready to discuss the wonderful world of body art.

I am tattooed. I am proud to be tattooed. Each day that I wake up, I remember the sentiments surrounding my ink. From the skull on my wrist (leaving an abusive relationship, and transitioning into the woman I am today, with undeniable strength and courage) to the roman numerals of my parents wedding date on my shoulder (when I look in the mirror and think 'my goodness, there is everlasting love out there!'). I just love the look of body art, I love the self representation it provides to the world.

I have not been inked since February 2011. It has been a long time since I sat in a chair, with a gifted artist and created something that screams ME! I am one of those people who want a half sleeve of what some people would deem frivolous.

Here is that List:

-A Tyrannosaur

I have always had an innate love with Dinosaurs. I watched Peter Jackson's 'KING KONG' over and over again for the insatiable scenes with these bad ass mother fuckers

(the rest of the movie could have done without Adrian Brody's pants in my opinion).

-A picture of my cat, Oreo

I am in looooooove with my cat. I have had her since the tender age of ten, and our relationship has reached new levels as she has settled into 'cat retirement'

(she does not eat her food, unless I sing to her 'fly me to my food, and let me eat amongst the stars').

-A Harp

It has always been a dream of mine to learn how to play this undeniably sensual instrument. I love the passion that flows from the harpist to the audience. It is in fact, just incredible.

(did I mention my background is Irish, and that shit just flows through my veins)

-Veronica Lodge

From an early age, I have been a fan of Archie comics. This rich bitch just has it all..good looks, a father who falters at her requests, a man that is forever wrapped around her finger.

When I read these comics, I think nothing more of her fabulous lifestyle. Sorry Betty, your shit just does not make the cut.

(I kinda want to call V-Lodge a friend)

So there is it, call me crazy, call me wonderful. These are the subjects that make me smile in life, make me want to get that half sleeve ASAP. Now, how to tell my bank account to chill the fuck out and save remains to be seen.

love!

my heart!

oh yes!

fierce!

just a little Halloween Fun I created on my nails

hazah!

Rainbows In The Sky

In the wake of Kim Kartrashian's decision to file for divorce after 72 days of marriage, I thought I would take to my blog and express my feelings regarding this media stunt.

Let us all face the facts, this was nothing more than a sham, for money, for publicity.

There is not much that Kris Jenner, puppet master, will not do for a crisp bill.

Kim, honey, if you thought you were not ready for this marriage, why would you rush into it?

(uh oh, was bossman Seacrest giving you the 'you must do this for E!' stare?!)

You started your 'celebrity' career by getting pissed on, fucked (sorry folks) on camera, and I wonder who in their right mind would ever say YES to your plastic face, monotone speech, empty mind (and I am sure it is not filled with much other than ABBA's money money money).

It is such a shame when people give up on a marriage. I am not talking about those people who truly need a divorce (ie spousal abuse). I am talking about the people who rush into something ideal, to wear the white dress, to have the rings, to have the special day.

These are not romantics, these are sick people who twist love into their very own poison. 

And now for a quick sidenote on marriage:

My parents have been married thirty years. There is not one day that goes by where their marriage is not hard work. They have their problems, whether they be big or small, they do everything they can to figure out how to solve it, they never push it aside to another day of anger/frustration. I believe being raised with both my parents gave me a strong look at where your will can take you. Where your strength can take you. Where you find that inner courage to make it work, no matter what, because you love each other.

Kim Kardipshitian, will forever be a lonely, sad woman, who my sister once said 'should just marry her money' (but then again, she would not be marrying the george washington, she would be doing everything in her power to seduce woodrow wilson).

I feel sorry for this family, they want us to believe they are this amazing united front, well, like Kris Humphries, I have not been drinking the Kardashian Kool-Aid. I have always seen this family as money hungry botox loving humans.

Now, this is the part that makes me angry (it is almost at the point of turning green, ripping off my shirt--HULK style) there are only six states in the USA that recognize same sex couples to be married (while these tramps get to ruin the sanctity of marriage). 

How can the US federal government be so dated when it comes to this issue at hand.....are we not all human beings, looking to fulfill our lives with love, with a family? Who the fuck are they to say just because someone prefers cock to vagina or vice versa that they do not have the same rights?

I have many gay friends, one of my closest friends Josh; well he just puts a damn smile on my face daily. I am a lucky girl to have his friendship. He is a lucky guy to be living in Canada, where we recognize that same sex couples are equal to heterosexual couples (thanks Paul Martin, you did your country good on that one). I pray for the world to change its views. I pray we can find common ground, for all men and women. To be able to love with the way God created them.

Love is love, let it be equal. (and do we not all love rainbows?!)

Plastic, Plastic Everywhere!

Brian and Justin from the delicious show that is Queer as Folk

hazah!