a world dominated by man-icures: I'm the doodle bear, I come with pens for writing on

I want 2011 to be a year of excitement and happiness, hence my decision to move out of my cute little apartment. It has been my staple for two years, but it's time to move on from obnoxious neighbours, and that fucking staircase that elephants run up and down.

I have to pack!

I am keeping in the same building so you would think that packing is going to go down smoothly (hahaha not so much jess). I have a lot of stuff... I have a lot of needless stuff from when I was a kid that is now surfacing... the totes of stuffed animals that mentally I just can't part with (this does not mean I have a mecca of teddy bears on my bed..I have a rule that if I want to keep stuffed animals, they stay in a tote and not out for everyone to think I have a weird fetish) the old books and drawings from elementary school that make me laugh my ass off when I reread them as an adult. The boxes of clothes that have really funky patterns, I would never fucking choose to wear outdoors nowadays but I begged my Mom to buy for me as a kid.

I am wondering how to part with this stuff and try to live a life with less clutter. A cluttered house means a cluttered mind right?! I have tried to get rid of some stuff and the guilt sets in everytime I get home to see the reject box. I want to be able to donate the things that I can and obviously trash the things that need it, but in a city like Toronto, I know I am going to see some crazy ass bum on Queen West waving around that teddybear that meant so much to me as a kid (probably with missing eyes and shit/crack stains on it).

When I was a weird kid, I use to think grabbing a kleenex and not using it was a sin because it never got to fulfill its duty to wipe that snot or dry those tears. I am not sure where my affection towards inanimate objects came from but they are obviously still with me as an adult.

I am not a hoarder, nor am I a pack rat....I just have things hanging out in cute Ikea storage boxes that most people would consider junk. For example, I collect old trash magazines...I do not know why, but I love to look at them years later and see what went on, who was dating who, the demise of the Golden Couple, the style some stars had, the ones who went to rehab, the ones who passed away, the frivolity of it all.

I am excited to go home tonight and just raid my small apartment and TRY to get rid of as much as I can. Since I am moving into my new apartment blindly, I do not know the space or what the closet is like, I do know it's bigger than what I have now, but lord, if I have to expose those totes, I will certainly not be a happy camper when friends come over and ask "oh what's in that tote?"...the answer will always be "mind your business, you nosy bitch"