Darling, Your Ass Will Grow

My crazy ass decided to go out with the boys and have some drinks last night...well, welcome to debt Jess, because you hit yourself hard with that idiotic grocery bill last night. Why I thought to do groceries at 3 am is really beyond me..oh no wait, it's because I, was messed up on the ol' hooch. 

I spent 45 dollars alone on cheese. I bought brie, because if you don't like brie, then you're pretty fucking lame. I then heard the gods sing "hallelujia" and it was like french doors opening and the jalapeno harvarti was right there. I was right there with it. Then my drunk face saw this cheese ball, I said to myself  "slurrr slurrr slurrry" cuz you know, that's how drunk people talk and it ended up in my cart. So it was a surprise to me this morning to see a magnificent cheese party in my fridge. 

I proceded to load my cart with the essentials, and drove my soon to be sorry ass to the cash. I didn't even care at that point about being intoxicated in public, let alone having to carry all this shit back home with me. I somehow managed all the bags, then I threw a cheese party for two (my cat, what can I say, she loves cheese). All that was missing during this classy affair---the music of Otis Redding.

"This cheese of mine, makes my mouth less lonely" (yeah that's right, I remixed it..my LP drops in 2020..baba wawa style)

Wheel Of Fortune..expanding your ass edition.

You had me at "hola"

For internal purposes only, I know you feel it too!


hazah!